Lawyers
do not write plain English. They use eight words to say what could be
said in two. They use arcane phrases to express commonplace ideas.
Seeking to be precise, they become redundant. Seeking to be cautious,
they become verbose. Their sentences twist on, phrase within clause
within clause, glazing the eyes and numbing the minds of their
readers. The result is a writing style that has, according to one
critic, four outstanding characteristics. It is ＂(1)
wordy, (2) unclear, (3) pompous, and (4) dull. ＂
Example One
A
normal person would say：＂Have
an orange... ”
A
legal nerd is trained to say, instead：＂I
hereby give, grant and convey to you, for all time coming, all my
interest, right, title and interest, both legal and equitable, in
this orange, together with all its rind, skin, juice, pulp and pips,
and all right and advantage therein with full power to bite, cut,
suck or otherwise eat or consume the said orange, with or without its
rind, skin, juice, pulp and pips as aforesaid, subject to any
amendments subsequently introduced or drawn up to this agreement. ＂
[
Extracted from Philip's R, The Best Lawyer Jokes Ever, Barnes &
Nobles 2002 ]
Example
Two
＂Since,
under the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission Guidelines
pertaining to sexual harassment, an employer is liable for
hostile-environment sexual harassment only if it knew or should have
known of the harassment and failed to take prompt and effective steps
to end the harassment, it is possible for employers to be exonerated
from liability for hostile-environment sexual harassment when sexual
harassment has occurred by individuals within an organization, but
the organization took prompt action to prevent further harassment. ＂
[
Extracted from a law-review article ]
That
sentence meanders. And its basic point tends to get lost in the
welter of words. Cut to its essence, the thought itself seems more
coherent：
＂EEOC
Guidelines allow courts to exonerate an employer from liability for
hostile-environment sexual harassment if the employer acts promptly
to prevent further harassment. ＂
Example
Three
Dear
Sir/Madam,
Re： Settlement of Outstanding Charges of HK$ ??? (Mobile Phone No. xxxxxxxx, Invoice Date 28-Apr-13)
We
act for XXX Telephone Company Limited.
According
to our client accounting records, the captioned outstanding charges
remain unpaid in your account with our client.
We
are instructed that despite demand and request, you have failed
and/or refused to settle the captioned outstanding charges. On behalf
of our client, we hereby give you final notice that unless you pay to
our client the captioned outstanding charges within seven (7) days
from the date of this letter, our client will commence legal
proceedings or such other recovery actions as it deems appropriate
against you to recover the same together with late charge without
further notice. In addition, our client will also recover from you
costs of the proceedings, all relevant administrative charges
incurred and all interests at such prevailing rate as shall be
determined by the Tribunal on the outstanding charges.
If
you have already settled the outstanding charges, please ignore this
letter and accept our apology for the inconvenience that may be
caused to you.
Should
there be any billing enquiries, please call our client at telephone no. yyyyyyy
during office hour from Monday to Saturday between 9：00
am and 6：00
pm.
[
A sample letter from a local law firm ]
